- Killing a bat with a whip should be an Olympic sport.
- An exit is defined as “A door on the other side of the room. Crap.”
- The native home of snakes is inside that pot you just decided to whip, probably.
- A terrorist is merely a person who forgot which button does what.
- Spiders are assholes.
Bonus: It’s entirely possible the last Ice Age was caused by a herd of wooly mammoths with the sniffles.
If I’m not making any sense go play Spelunky, scrape your confidence off the floor and then come back and reread this list.